Re : If Atheists Ruled the World

Gaza - What else?

Hmm. So there are various sides to this story. Who knew?

I've just come back from visiting one of my favourite columnists - Thomas L. Friedman (that's the wonderful thing about the net - he didn't even know I was there), who put the whole thing into interesting perspective in his New York Times op-ed piece The Mideast’s Ground Zero

Mr Friedman is part environmental activist, part economist, part many other things: I recently downloaded podcasts of his book The World Is Flat and listened to all nine hours straight; and when I grow up and make lots of money I intend buying his newest book "Hot, Flat and Crowded" (you'd think the government would zero-rate books, wouldnya? Make them cheap as possible so that they're as accessible as possible. But not a chance - books are as expensive as they can be because there's more tax to be collected that way. Maybe there's an ANC plot to blinker the proletariat by keeping it as uneducated as possible? Now there's a thought...)

Back to Gaza, though: remember the Eagles' line "the more I think about it ol' Billy was right, let's kill al the lawyers, let's kill 'em tonight?"

Maybe if we did that to the religions, kill 'em tonight, we wouldn't need the lawyers, and then we wouldn't haveta kill 'em (the lawyers, I mean).

And Mr Friedman has argued that we fund terrorism by our ridiculous reliance on oil. So maybe the other leg of the cure for Gaza lies in finding a cure for fossil fuels?

Huh?

Writer's Block. Sunday, January 4

I woke. I ran. I stretched (viruous, wasn't I?), I showered under the garden hose; I loaded and unloaded the washing macine (twice); I read (Bryson's Shakespeare. Couldn't put it down); I slept on the couch; I ate a tuna salad; and I edited reams and reams of stuff.

What the hell ever happened to WRITING?

If I were to dare open the file, I think I'd find the last story (that's new fiction) I worked on happened about 6 months ago. It's only half way through (!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - writer's frustration depicted by illegal use of multiple ! marks). It's far from finished (!!!!!!!!!!!!). It's bugging me (!!!!!!!!!!) and yet I just can't get to it.

Sigh. So this is writer's block?

Belthar's Garden

So I finished revision number 6 and sent the manuscript off to the publishers on Boxing Day. Quite an appropriate present for them, don't you think? Or is that arrogant?

I realised on that day that this book has so far been five years in the making - it began in 2003 - an unusual day because that was when I saw the whole theme of the book in a flash (and I remember where I was when it happened). Usually, I have to drag my stories out of their closets, screaming and kicking. Unkulunkulu's Music cost me almost an entire kitchen (smash a glass? Not me. I can smash a wooden table AND break its legs and - pah! - a solid cupboard door is NOTHING).

I was walking the dogs (all theree of them were still alive then - now it's only Veisha) past the old steel barrel at the end of my driveway when it happened and I came inside and smacked out the first few pages in an hour. Then it lazed around a while, and then got going in fits and starts, until it got itself done about a year later. Now 5 re-writes down the line, and I think it's looking good.

Well, let's see what the publishers say. And please - hold thumbs for me.

New Year Blogolution

Yeah - that's it: my new year's resolution is to blog more.

Let's begin here, shall we: with a vlog post by a bloke called Benny Lewis about learning to tango:



Learning tango in Buenos Aires from Matador Network on Vimeo.

I'm next...

Who's that mime?

I've become fascinated by mime since my friend Collen Marawa told me he taught himself the art (and now supports himself - and his extended family - through it)

Here's Collen at work:



If you want him to perform at your function, contact him through me... I'll gladly pass the message on.

And just for fun, here's the supreme master, Marcelle Marceau:



... who continues to inspire everyone. From writers to wrappers:

Married Couple Qualify for Land Rover G4 Challenge National Selections

PRINCE ALBERT, 17 SEPTEMBER 2008: Husband and wife Ian and Susan Don-Wauchope made history today when they became the first married couple to qualify for National Selections in the search for South Africa’s two-person team for the Land Rover G4 Challenge.

They’ll meet Tatum Prins, Abbey Mediema, Jeannie Bomford, Jan Schutte, Andre Gie and Richard Kolbe as well as the top eight runners-up and four wild cards (selected by Land Rover South Africa) in Lesotho next month.

Runners-up in this last rotation of the Regional Selections were Jennifer Soutar, Christine Woods, Jeremy Green and Craig Carter-Brown.

“At the National Selections we will be looking for two men and two women to go forward to the International Selections in England next year, when one South African man and one South African woman will be chosen to participate in the Challenge itself,” said Land Rover South Africa’s General Manager of Marketing and Sales, Roland Reid.

As the Don-Wauchopes (the ‘ch’ is pronounced as it is in the Scottish ‘loch’) were married only four months ago and her new identity documents have not yet been issued, Susan went into the Regional Selections under her maiden name – Erskine.

“Making it into the Nationals is an incredible achievement by any standards,” said Mark Collins of Magnetic South, the company managing the Selections on behalf of Land Rover South Africa.

“The Land Rover G4 Challenge is the greatest adventure race in the world, and it attracts the top multi-sports athletes – so you can image how tough and unforgiving the competition was amongst the 120 candidates in the Regionals.

“Scoring was particularly difficult in the fourth rotation as the main contenders ran neck-and-neck all the way: but both Ian and Susan stood out in the end, and it’s a wonderful coincidence that they just happen to be married.”

In fact, South Africa’s Martin Dreyer, the current Land Rover G4 Challenge world title holder, said that “this was a very romantic result because Mark and Belen and John and Christine Collins of Magnetic South were also Land Rover G4 Challenge finalists – and both brothers met their wives on the Land Rover G4 Challenge.”

He said that Sue and Ian had it in them to make it all the way through but that they should expect enormous pressure if they do.

“The Challenge is an individual event, but it is also adventure racing so teamwork is vitally important, too - so imagine what it will be like for a husband and wife to race with each other and against each other at exactly the same time!”

Roland Reid commented on the professional way in which Magnetic South had managed the Regional Selections and said that National Selections could be expected to be similarly impressive.

“Contestants should know that we are looking for people with as much athletic ability as strategic thinking skills – so everyone who makes it into the squad will have to up their game.

“But having seen the quality of the athletes who’ve come through so far, we’re confident that South Africa will be fielding a winning team when the Land Rover G4 Challenge gets going in Mongolia next year,” he said.

More information at www.landroverg4challenge.com. A South African supporters group - “Land Rover G4 Selections South Africa” - has been created on Facebook.

ENDS

NOTE: Squad for National Selections for South Africa’s Land Rover G4 Challenge team.

1. The winners of each of rotation in the Regional Selections are guaranteed places in the National squad. They are Abbey Mediema, Andre Gie, Ian Don-Wauchope, Jan Schutte, Jeannie Bomford, Richard Kolbe, Susan Erskine and Tatum Prins;
2. Eight runners-up will also go into the squad. The complete list of runners up (in alphabetical order) is: Catherine Treasure, Christine Woods, Craig Carter-Brown, David Krige, Graham ‘Tweet’ Bird, Hanlie Booyen, Jeanette Walden, Jennifer Soutar, Jeremy Green, Liske Lauterbach, Mike Hewan, Nicholas Mulder, Olivier Feuillet, Robin Farrar, Susan Jane Sloan and Ugene Nel;
3. Land Rover South Africa will choose four wild cards from amongst the 120 athletes who took part in Regional Selections;
4. The Company will announce the names of the eight runners-up as well as its wild cards in the next few days.

Miedema and Kolbe Go Forward To Land Rover G4 Challenge Nationals

Media Release: Immediate 14 September 2008 - Land Rover G4 Selections

Miedema and Kolbe Go Forward To Land Rover G4 Challenge Nationals

PRINCE ALBERT, 13 SEPTEMBER 2008: Richard Kolbe and Abbey Mediema made it through to the second round of Selections for South Africa’s Land Rover G4 Challenge team after the third rotation in the Regional Selections ended here this morning.

This puts them in line with Tatum Prins, Jeannie Bomford, Jan Schutte and Andre Gie for National Selections in October.

The winners of each rotation, the top eight runners-up and four wild card entries chosen by Land Rover South Africa will battle it out in Lesotho next month.

Runners-up this weekend were Jeanette Walden, Susan Jane Sloan, Graham ‘Tweet’ Bird and Mike Hewan.

Up to now the location of the Regionals and the nature of the tasks in the competition have been kept secret because it was felt that incoming competitors could use this kind of information to mentally prepare themselves – thus gaining a strategic advantage. But with the fourth and final group currently on their way to the start at Matjiesfontein, Race Director Mark Collins of event managers Magnetic South felt that it was time to praise the host towns.

“We’re particularly keen to tell everyone about Matjiesfontein and Prince Albert because people here have been incredibly helpful. They’ve welcomed us and done everything they could to make the Selections as successful as possible – and, of course, the Swartberg Nature Reserve, the Swartberg Mountains and the local farms where we’ve set up the tasks and our competitor accommodation, Camp Discovery, have provided us with perfect conditions in which to test the athletes.

“The landscape here also closely resembles the places we’ve seen on our scouting expeditions in Mongolia, where the Challenge will take place in June and July next year,” he said.

Bokkie Botha, chairman of the Prince Albert Tourism Association, said that the Land Rover G4 Challenge Regional Selections had given a welcome boost to the local tourism economy – but Mark felt that there was more to the townsfolk’s hospitality than purely commercial motives.

“They’re just great people, very friendly, warm and helpful and they’ve done everything they can to make us feel welcome,” he said.

DIFFICULT TASKS
During Regional Selections, competitors are presented with thirteen tasks that test their mental and physical strength as well as their ropes work, mountain biking, kayaking and orienteering skills and their ability to navigate by map, compass and Garmin GPS.

The tasks – and, indeed, the format of the entire selections process – were designed to emulate the G4 Challenge as far as possible (except that the Challenge is staged over 4 weeks whereas this first stage was only two nights and three days in length).

“One of my favourites was the ‘USN Feathered Agression,’ said Land Rover South Africa’s General Manager of Marketing and Sales, Roland Reid. “It was a mixture of mountain biking and orienteering with one additional and unexpected twist: it was held in a huge camp filled with aggressive male ostriches in full mating plumage.

“So every rider had to carry a tall pole and flag with which to frighten them off.

“There’s no way that anyone could have prepared themselves for that. It made it a totally African experience and put a real edge into the competition – and the competitors’ attitude and enjoyment of the challenge perfectly demonstrated their suitability as adventure racers.

“We’re very excited about the quality of the athletes we’ve met over the past week or so and I’m looking forward to sending all the other competing nations a picture of our team and one simple message: ‘The South Africans are coming!’”

More information at www.landroverg4challenge.com. A South African supporters group - “Land Rover G4 Selections South Africa” - has been created on Facebook.
.

Gie and Bomford Go Through to Land Rover G4 Challenge National Selections

Media Release: Immediate 10 September 2008 - Land Rover G4 Selections

GREAT KAROO, 10 SEPTEMBER 2008: By Wednesday of next week, 120 of the country’s top multi-sports athletes will have completed the first leg (Regional Selections) of the three-part process of naming South Africa’s team for the Land Rover G4 Challenge which will take place in Mongolia during June and July 2009.

The second rotation of the Regionals ended with a farewell ceremony here this morning – when race director Mark Collins awarded places in the Nationals to Cape Town’s Jeannie Bomford and Knysna’s Andre Gie.

The runners-up were Catherine Treasure, Liske Lauterbach, Ugene Nel and David Krige, whose names will go into the judging pool for the Nationals. A total of eight runners up from all four selections will join the leading men and women as well as four wild card entries chosen by Land Rover South Africa at the Nationals in Lesotho next month.

Although specific information about tasks in the selections can only be made public once all four rotations have been completed, prizes for outstanding performance by individuals – provided by sponsors Land Rover Gear, Hella, USN, Garmin and Helly Hansen – are also awarded during these farewell ceremonies.

Other sponsors of the Selections – which will benefit the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies – include Goodyear, Petzl, Fluid Kayaks and Supersport (who will screen footage from the event during October).

“For logistical reasons we had to divide the Regionals into four rotations of 30 people each,” said Land Rover South Africa’s General Manager of Marketing and Sales, Roland Reid. “Now that we’ve completed the second rotation we have a good idea of the strength of the athletes we’re dealing with – and I’ll tell you this: I think the Nationals are going to be quite something because the competition has been very, very tough and uncompromising so far.

“Jeannie Bomford is a case in point: she fell going down a hill and took quite a knock in one of the mountain biking races - big bruise, roastie on her elbow and hit her head so hard that she cracked her helmet – but she got up and continued and ended up setting the record for women in that task.

“Straight after that, she went on to set a record time for the next task - an orienteering challenge. The incredible thing is, though, that she won every single task in her rotation – a 100% score every time.

“She’s a machine.”

Like Jeannie, Andre Gie, a medical doctor, was a popular choice amongst the athletes, many of whom knew him from his highly successful adventure racing career.

Speaking after the awards, he said, “I’m psyched – there were so many really awesome competitors and in your mind you see everyone else charging off into the distance and cleaning up.

“But I think the main thing is to remain positive the whole time and give it all you’ve got... I’m pumped, I’m really excited!”

More information at www.landroverg4challenge.com. A South African supporters group - “Land Rover G4 Selections South Africa” - has been created on Facebook.

ENDS 515 WORDS

MEDIA RELEASE BY BarefootClients | MARTIN HATCHUEL Barefoot Writer
martin@barefootclients.co.za
Cell +27(0)84 951 0574 | Telephone +27(0)44 384 1810
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Schutte & Prins Qualify for National Selections in Search for South Africa’s Land Rover G4 Challenge Team

Media Release: Immediate 7 September 2008 - Land Rover G4 Selections

Schutte & Prins Qualify for National Selections in Search for South Africa’s Land Rover G4 Challenge Team

GREAT KAROO, 7 SEPTEMBER 2008. Capetonians Jan Schutte and Tatum Prins today became the first athletes to qualify for the penultimate round of selections in the search for South Africa’s team for next year’s Land Rover G4 Challenge.

They beat twenty eight other contestants during the first, intense and tightly-fought rotation of the four-part Regional Selections which took place at a secret location in the Great Karoo this weekend.

The form and extent of the tasks they faced cannot be published until after the final rotation is complete, but both Jan and Tatum were surprised by the challenges that were presented to them and said that selections had helped them identify skills which they’d need to hone in the next few weeks.

“The ideal G4 athlete isn’t just a powerhouse; he or she also thinks strategically and is a good team player - although these are just two of the many characteristics the judges look for during the tasks and, indeed, the entire event,” said event director Mark Collins.

“Scoring this first round was incredibly difficult and we don’t expect it’ll get any easier as the rest of the participants go through their paces during the next three rotations over the next two weeks,” he said.

Twenty people will attend the Nationals in Lesotho in October – the winning men and women from each round of the Regionals will be joined by the eight next-best scorers and four wild card entrants.

The runners-up in the first rotation were Robin Farrar, Hanlie Booyen, Olivier Feuillet and Nicholas Mulder – but whether or not they will attend the Nationals will depend on how they score against the other runners-up.

“We’re delighted with the results so far,” said Roland Reid, General Manager, Marketing and Sales for Land Rover South Africa, “and if this group is any indication of the strength and talent of South African adventure sports athletes, we think we’ll be able to field and unbeatable team next year.”

He said that the Land Rover G4 Challenge – the greatest adventure race in the world - would benefit the International Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies, and that the winner of the event would have the honour of presenting a brand new Range Rover to the Society in his or her home country.

“And we’re certainly hoping that South Africa’s Red Cross will get that car!”

More information at www.landroverg4challenge.com. A South African supporters Facebook group - “Land Rover G4 Selections South Africa” - has been created.

ENDS 429 WORDS

Playpump

Here's something to think about: a merry-go-round that pumps water:

Playpump

G4 Challenge

Next month I'll be working on the regional selections for South Africa's team for the Land Rover G4 Challenge. Maybe one day when I grow up I'll be lucky enough to work on the race itself...

Found this vid which really inspired me

Shark Breach - SAMPLA Research- Nat Geo Documentary

As you know, I've been reporting on the antics of SAMPLA - the South African Marine Predator Lab - for my client, Mossel Bay Tourism (www.visitmosselbay.co.za) . The Lab is based in Mossel Bay and one of its Scientists, Ryan Johnson, has just completed a National Geographic Video on the sharks of the bay - a video he calls 'Sharkville.'

Here's an amazing vid of a shark breaching behind one of the SAMPLA research boats:

SAMPLA and Shark Research in Mossel Bay

Recently I've had the honour of meeting Ryan Johnson and some of his team at SAMPLA - the South African Marine Science Laboratory - www.sampla.org

Ryan's just been in the USA promoting his new National Geographic Documentary, 'Sharkville'

Here are some links to some of his radio interviews:

ABC News

http://pnyr.gater.com/cc-common/podcast/single_podcast.html?podcast=DailyShows.xml

And you can watch him in an interview with Bill O"Reilly, too:

http://www.foxnews.com/video/index.html?playerId=videolandingpage&streamingFormat=FLASH&referralObject=2590559&referralPlaylistId=9ccf127ad00c53ab8708e18e946bf50e83958340

Nathan - Champion!

Definitely the most beautiful oke ever! (But I'm not biased!)

technorati

Technorati Profile

Putting Out The Rubbish

Home-grown Umlungu: CXpress 4 May 2006

“Write about your rubbish bags.”

“What?”

“Your rubbish bags.”

“But this is my COLUMN. People read my column because they want to read about ME.”

“Don’t be so conceited. Write about something more interesting. Write about your rubbish bags. You can learn a lot about people from their rubbish bags.”

Why is it that your real friends never say the things you want them to? I mean, here I was looking for brilliance and inspiration from a man who’s made it as a journalist - Big Time, we’re talking a national paper here - so you’d think he could afford to be grownup about this sort of thing, wouldn’t you? That he could stroke the old ego a little?

But no, this so-called friend always has to challenge me, make me face my realities, push me to write better.

“What’s in your rubbish bags?”

“None of your damned business.”

Hah! So he was hiding something. “You’re not prepared to tell me what you throw away?”

“No, it’s not that. I want you to imagine what I throw away... You’re a writer, aren’t you?”

“Well, yes.”

“So imagine.”

There’s rubbish, of course - mouldy left-overs, table scraps, used tissues, disposable nappies and whatever it was that made the cat sick. And in his green bags (green for recyclable), his old newspapers and empty bottles, his plastic bags and tin cans.

But does he also take his rubbish down to the end of the driveway in the early morning quiet before the neighbourhood wakes? And as he drops his bags on the grass of his sidewalk, does he also look across the Lagoon at the Outeniqua Mountains as they catch the first light of the day, the water still as a mirror, the sunrise reflecting sharp and clear?

And does his dog, happy to be going on an adventure (even if it is just a little adventure) bobble along at his side as he makes his weekly pilgrimage?

And as he walks back up to his house, does he look into the trees and see them perfect against the blueing of the sky, and does he find himself slowing to a stop, his hand stroking absently at the dog? And does he think: “amazing! - this is where I live!”?

Because there was this one time when I came to the end of my driveway and there was an old man, deeply dignified but obviously very, very poor and he said: “can I help you with that? It’ll only be a few rand.”

“Sorry, but there’s only the one bag.”

“Maybe you want some work done in the garden? Some painting?”

“I’m sorry, old man. I haven’t got any work.”

He nodded and I went back inside and then a little later I drove to town and the old man was standing there at the circle on Wilson Street.

He stuck out his thumb and hitched a lift. “I can’t find work,” he said. “I used to be a painter, but now...”

And somehow I asked about his family. They were living in Johannesburg, he said.

“Can’t you go and live with them? Maybe stay with them while you look for work?”

But he just shook his head again. “They’re not interested in me.”

And then he stared at the Lagoon for a while as we drove along George Rex before he turned back to me. “And besides,” he said. “It’s so beautiful. I like living here.”

Good Morning Campers

That Other Column 68
Martin Hatchuel

Hope June 16

Young people’re fun. Young people have far too much energy for my own good, young people are far too progressed, far too arrogant, far too immortal, far too infallible and far too all-knowing.

You gotta love ‘em. Because it’s thanks to them that this country is where it is today.

I’ve said it before and I won’t be able to say it for much longer: I’m forty six. And a half. And Like most people of my generation, I can remember exactly where I was on June 16, 1976 when the first news of the Soweto uprising started to filter into our spoiled, northern suburbs Jo’burg lives. I was in the art class at my terribly, terribly self-important, ego-inflated all-boys sports academy (‘the art class’ being a euphemism for ‘the-guys-who-can’t-make-it-anywhere-else,’ although we did count a sprinter or two and, I think, a first team hockey reserve amongst our forlorn and eccentric number). And I was sitting, as usual, with my bum on the desk and my feet on the chair, because, while it drove other teachers into conniptions, that kind of outlandish rebellion was fine in Miss Martin’s presence and we all need a place where we can rebel.

And besides, she was gorgeous: and if I sat on my seat like everyone else, would she notice me? I mean, truly notice me?

I remember the day as being clear and cold, and that I had on my dull, dusty blazer over a scratchy, dusty grey jersey. We had a double period - before and after lunch - and Miss Martin must have heard about the ‘unrest’ (talk about euphemisms!) in the staff room during the break because, instead of allowing us to continue drawing when class resumed, she made us listen to her tinny portable radio and to the plummy, self-satisfied drone which newscasters adopted in those controlled and far-off days.

And I don’t suppose Miss Martin was more than six or seven years older than the oldest boy in the room (it was our matric year - and, for some of us, our second and third matric year), but she must have been a lot wiser, because she predicted, when the newscast was over, that South Africa would never be the same.

We hadn’t a clue what she was talking about - because it was the first time most of us came to realise that there were kids out there who were deeply dissatisfied with the education system (we hated it, of course, but thought it “rather good”).

And of course she was right, thank goodness - and thanks to the youth. Some of the youth, at least.

I don’t suppose any of us dreamed, then, that there’d be anything to celebrate come June 16, 2005, but in truth there is much to celebrate - although for me, at least, this year’s Youth Day was a demonstration of how far we’ve come and, in some ways, a sad reminder of how little we’ve actually progressed.

I marked the day by attending the festival at the Rheenendal Primary School. They’d set up a tent and they had bands and performers and there were speeches and a couple of friendly blokes walked around handing out free oranges to anyone who’d have them - and I had them (groaningly far too many of them). The ground was carpeted with peels and it was muddy and the air was just as cold as I remember it all those years ago. There were some stalls (I bought a yellow-and-black-and-green bead necklace) and some food stands - but I suspect that most people didn’t have much money, because nobody seemed to be doing much business. And it was loud and it was brash and it was safe and it was unthreatening and it was ... coloured. And a little black.

But it was very, very, un-white.

There was me and the photographer Bryan van Wyk and his girlfriend Ansa. And before I arrived, I believe the mayor made an appearance and she’s white. And Jim Morel had been there, too, the manager of one of the bands which performed. And he’s white. But that, I believe, was it as far as white people were concerned.

White okes didn’t have much to celebrate, it seemed.

I spoke to some of the people there: to Michael Olivier, who organised the event with Peggy Oelf and Linda Michels, and to the chairman of the local branch of the ANC, Lawrence Jule, and to Lwaype Sam and they all said the same thing. The people need land. The people need housing. The people need training and education. But above all, we need to work for unity in South Africa; we need to go beyond race; we need become one community (community in the old-fashioned sense of the word: not as it’s used today. Not “community” as a politically correct euphemism for “non-European township”).

But I’d driven through Knysna’s upper-crust, mostly-white suburbs that morning, and I couldn’t help comparing them with the poverty of that rural village.

And I couldn’t help wondering what the people of Rheenendal had to celebrate.

Hope, I suppose. Hope that things will improve, eventually. And hope is a lot more - in fact it’s everything more - than any of us had on June 16, 1976.

martin@barefootclients.co.za